goodbye, thailand (part 2)

Wow, this isn’t a blogpost I WANT to write, but here we go. I have one more week in Thailand (boooo). I am leaving for Penang, Malaysia very soon, and while I am beyond excited, I am mourning the home Abba has made for me here. I do not want to say goodbye to this place! The Lord placed me in an atmosphere that challenges me to choose Him, and the growth I have seen from it is wild. I have a newfound confidence in the Lord and in what He has bestowed upon me. Days are long and ministry can be confusing, but every day is handcrafted to lead me towards deeper intimacy with my God. With all of that being said, I wanted to use this post to discuss all of the things on my heart about this place. I hope you feel an ounce of the love I have for this city and country after reading this blog.

PHONE FAST

Last Thursday I decided to put away my phone for a week. It had finally hit me that I was about to leave Thailand, and I knew I needed to be fully present and allow God to show up in even the littlest moments. So, away went the distractions!! I am so thankful I did it. I am writing this on the last day of the fast, and goodness, the Lord is so faithful to bless us in our sacrifices! It was such a simple thing, but the Lord ran with the fact that I was desiring to seek Him more. I have had a growing passion for this city and its people. I’ve been a little more awestruck when we pass the mountains on the songthaew rides to ministry. My heart has grown fonder and deeper towards my squadmates. Abba’s presence and love have been bursting out of every corner! Praise be to God for giving me such a sweet last week in this beautiful country. He is GOOD.

Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness. Romans 6:13

TAPESTRIES & SUCH

There is a night market a half-mile away from the hostel. When you pass the entrance, you can see bundles of stands with all kinds of products and people surrounding them. Within this night market, there is a bright and colorful cashmere shop run by a man (who will go unnamed for protection purposes). As soon as you enter his shop he greets you with genuine excitement and a wide smile. If you take the time to chat with him, you will find he is very open. He was born in Pakistan and moved to Thailand 6 years ago due to political unrest. The love he has for his family runs deep and shows that through the continuation of family tradition: tapestry weaving. Every product he sells tells a beautiful story. He knows every tale by heart and freely shares then to anyone who walks in his doors. He has shown me the kindness and perseverance that Christ holds. He doesn’t believe in Jesus, but man I have seen so much of God’s character through Him!! I am deeply thankful for this friend, a man who is deeply intentional in everything he does!

WALK FOR FREEDOM, 10.19.19

Some pals from my squad and I were given the opportunity to participate in Chaing Mai’s first-ever ‘Walk for Freedom!!!’ Around 200 people in the city showed up to fight against human trafficking through a peaceful protest. So, we all got in a single file line and walked around a half-mile in silence. It was such a privilege to be able to stand in the place of those who are affected by human trafficking. To pray for them. To declare freedom over them. I wish words could encompass how the Lord’s grace and glory were made known in the presence of Chaing Mai, but I don’t think they could. I’ll share a few pictures though (;

MURALS, SPECIALS, & TIP JARS OH MY!

The Lord has gifted me with a heart on fire for creativity. I am always seeking new things to doodle or write. I have been practicing calligraphy since freshman year as a way to help my mind focus during school/sermons, but on the race, it has been a sweet way for me to glorify the Lord. For starters, my friend Miranda asked me to design a tattoo for her, which is WILD. Second, I was able to design and paint a mural for my ministry site!! Third, the coffee shop below the hostel we stay at (Bella Goose Coffee) asked me to design their specials sign and tip jar! It is such a blessing to have been able to use my gifts to bless others, even if its in super small ways.

JOY DOWN DEEP IN MY SOUL

I would never consider myself an innately joyful gal. Because of a previously long-fought battle with depression, I more easily see the more somber and mellow parts of my heart. You could say that depression tainted the view I had of myself. Before I left for the race, a friend of mine told me that the Lord said He was going to reveal characteristics I hold that I hadn’t recognized before. & gosh, as soon as I stepped onto the field the word joy was spoken over me daily. I never really received it, I allowed my shame and scars to blind me from simple truth. Shoutout to my squadmates for drilling FACTS into me. For reminding me that I am indeed joyful! I am indeed a light for the Lord! My friend Claire said something that really put this into perspective for me: “You have a God-given ability to walk in joy and wisdom at the same time. You can bring laughter and encouragement while also asking questions and expressing thoughts that cause people to think deeper.” That encouraged me to look past my own opinions and into the Lord’s truth. “…they will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away.” Isaiah 35:10 

YOU ARE MAKING NEW WINE

The process of making wine: crushing, pressing, fermentation, clarification, and aging/bottling.

The Lord has been making new wine out of me here in Thailand. 

Before I left for the race I prayed that the Lord would place me in situations that tested my social anxiety, so I could rest assured that I was healed from it. He has been doing just that, and boy oh boy its been hard. I would explain it as the Lord shaking my foundation to break off all of the things that aren’t of Him. PRAISE GOD because I have been able to bring all things back to truth, knowing that we have a good Father who loves me so deeply. The more I struggle and wrestle with the remnants of my social anxiety, the closer I draw to the Lord. 

Also before the race, I asked the Lord to give me words that would define each country so I could be praying over them. What I got for Thailand was “redemption in community.” Oh, how sweet it is to look back on these past two months knowing that God did JUST THAT. Wowie!!!

BACK AT SCHOOL

My team’s ministry has been working at a Buddhist School. We teach English, paint walls and murals, and do misc. tasks to relieve the staff. The kids are radiant and the school walls are bright & colorful. It was so refreshing and God-ordained in ways I never expected. I was forced to have complete trust in the Lord’s plan for me because I wasn’t able to see immediate fruit. I became more confident in the power of prayer because most days that felt like all I could do. My team & I bonded due to all of the free time. The Lord was so good to us these past 2 months! I could go on and on about the children and staff at this school, but that would have to be a separate blog post. All I can say is that the Lord moved mountains. Praise God!

Thailand has been a hoot & a holler. Immensely thankful for what God has done here and what He will continue to do. Please be praying for my squad as we transition into a new season!!! All the love <3