q + a (pt 2)

(per usual, i typed this on my phone notes, so apologies in advance for any grammatical errors)

How did the race show me what i wanted to do with my life? 

While we were in India, one of our main ministries was encouraging the church body of the villages we were in. Ministry in India reminded me how passionate I am for the American church, and how sweet it is to watch gears turn as people grasp the reality of our heavenly Father. Since coming off the field, I am convinced I will be highly involved in the American church all of my life, in whatever way God leads me towards. 

Favorite and least favorite place i used the bathroom?

Love this question. 10/10.

Favorite: Chiangmairam hospital bathrooms. It had fancy buttons and everything!!

Least Favorite: the squatty in the Malaysian hospital ):< it was one of my first squatty experiences and i had to do it while holding a stupid IV bag that was pumping antibiotics into my body. 

Most impactful experience.

Experience-wise i would very confidently say falling in a sewer (for the sake of not talking about that for the 50 millionth time, i’ll answer it a little differently). My most impactful relationship was with a bunch of little girls in Saiphai, India. Their names are Apshara, Linda, Ruthi, Sangi, Jennifer, Rebecca, Daisy, and KC. Each day they would write me notes and bring me little gifts. We would play games together on the school campus and talk about our dreams and aspirations. Some of my favorite memories were laughing and singing with them (‘:

To go on a tangent, I’ll share a sweet moment with my Saiphai gals. We were looking at the stars and each girl was pointing out her favorite star to me. They told me a story of a meteor shower they had seen, and I mentioned I had never seen a shooting star before. Sweet Apshara prayed to God that He would allow one to shoot across the sky. All 7 of us stared at the sky for about 5 minutes (talk about a crick in my neck, GOODNESS), and THE COOLEST SHOOTING STAR FLEW RIGHT BEFOrE OUR EYES. I seriously had never seen one before so I was FREAKING out. The girls were so excited, we all screamed pretty loud when it happened. It was such a sweet lil testimony of God’s faithfulness!!!

Where did I enjoy staying the most?

Thailand. I’m not saying this off of the basis that Thailand was my favorite country, but if i was to go to any of the places i visited for tourism rather than missions, i would DEFINITELY go back to Thailand. there was a bunch of cool stuff that i never got the opportunity to do because a) lack of time & b) lack of money. 

What is something you struggled with at the beginning of the race that you saw growth in?

c o n f i d e n c e. when we first got our team assignments at training camp, there was a very obvious observation about my pals & I: we are all leadership personalities. rather than letting that encourage me and grow me, i allowed it to create insecurity in my heart. i began to question if my tenderness, alongside boldness, was a bad thing. i began to stop speaking up and sharing my convictions/observations with the team. it created a distance i never intended…it was just no bueno. but!!!! the Lord didn’t sit idly by when that happened. he taught me that my tenderness is a gift that i should share with others. that my sensitivity to words doesn’t cancel out my ability to be a good leader, in fact, it enhances it. about a month ago I finally shared that journey with my team, and all of them agreed that sensitivity is something they either had learned/wanted to learn from me. thank you Lord for reiterating the lesson that being “different” doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you(((: 

Why did i go?

the simple answer is that the Lord told me to. the not-so-simple answer is that my heart has been in love with missions since middle school.  the Lord took little seeds of opportunities with week long missions and allowed that passion to cross paths with the world race. it was a 2 year process of me finding out about it, deciding if i wanted to go, applying, getting declined (read my first blog lol), & then getting accepted. in those two years the Lord spoke so much life in purpose into me, it made less sense for me to stay then to go, lol!

How has it changed me and my outlook on life?

Man oh man. Through the race, Abba taught me what love tangibly looks like. In India I read through the book of John, and it was highlighted to me how many of Jesus’ commands were about laying down your life for others. How He, time and time again, reminded us how valuable unity is. Unity is not easy by any means, and truly loving others is hard, but it is so worth it. Granted, this is something I will be growing in and walking through for the rest of my life. But, living in community allowed the fire to be lit under my butt so that I would pursue others rather than wait for them to pursue me.

Do i have a favorite place?

Lol. this is like asking if i have a favorite kid. I do not, and i think most people you ask will say the same. There are so many factors that play into this question. In what country did God grow me the most(india)? Which place was the most beautiful(thailand)? Which country held the best relationships(india)? Which one pushed you the most (malaysia)?? Each country has favorite qualities, but i don’t like one more than the other. However, i CAN confidently say that malaysia was NoT my favorite. Lol. 

How did this affect my relationship with God?

Everything about the race tested my faith. It made me ask questions, tons of em!

Was I willing to go and pray for someone even if it would embarrass me? If I was to share the gospel with someone, would I be bold enough to share the whole truth of Jesus? Do I trust God with my heart? Am I giving up everything I have? 

All of these are questions I asked & questions God answered. When I started the race, these were a big fat “NO.” The Lord and His kindness has walked with me to change each of these to “YES.” Amen & PRAISE GOD(: 

This answer does not do justice to the way God has changed me through all of this. I could never conceive enough words of amazement to attribute the right amount  of glory to Him. In this, i encourage anyone reading to ask me more questions. I would love to talk about God & His goodness for hours-He is so worthy.

What happened to you that you didn’t think would happen overseas??

Seeing dogs get beaten with sticks. Having dance ministry in both Thailand and Costa. Falling in a sewer. Getting mobbed by locals in Silchar for selfies. Being attacked by a monkey. Being part of an Indian dance competition. There’s a bunch of weird stuff that happened overseas that by no means did i expect.

What did i learn about God? People? The world?

God: He is so powerful, and SO faithful. Everything is intentionally in His timing, even when it doesn’t seem like it. 

His goodness is never ending, and it isn’t swayed by my human emotion or circumstance. 

He is so kind to us!! like what the frick!!! Nothing about our flesh deserves even an atom of His mercy, but He LAVISHES it on us. That in itself deserves 5 million years of praise.

People: Asian culture is just wonderful (‘: 

Each person has a unique and beautiful story that is worth paying attention to. 

They need Jesus. A bunch. Watching people live in desperate need of something to cling onto is heartbreaking. I have seen many non-believers smile at the kindness and hope that Jesus brings (even if they don’t personally accept Him as savior). He is so transformational, and you can TELL when someone is on fire for the Lord. 

Peoples opinions are valid. You are not the only correct person in the world. If someone gives you feedback, and you act out of anger and emotion and reject it, you are missing out on a really sweet opportunity to see growth in yourself and honor others around you. 

World: The world we live in is beautiful, but broken. 

There are things about every country that can remind you of home, even if it is the farthest thing from where you live. (the amount of times that i looked around in India and saw something familiar…SO MANY)

Mountains are such a comfort for me. Every home we had overseas was near mountains, it gave me such peace and gratitude

Just because a country’s culture is different from your own doesn’t mean they are wrong, & vice versa. 

How do i see the world race impacting my faith long term?

The race helped me create routines that are super beneficial for my day 2 day. Ex. starting my day off in prayer/scripture, thanking God for the little things, attributing any and all glory to Him, & many more that i can’t think of rn lol. 

I now know what healthy community looks like, and what to look for when I start searching for churches and friends in ATX. (shoutout squad Y i literally love y’all so much).

I now have a sense of urgency with sharing the gospel. each persons life is so precious, and each person needs Jesus a LOT. look at matthew 13:44, that man sold EVERYTHING for the treasure in the field. if it’s worth that much, and it’s that life changing, then shoot dang I want everyone to have it!!! so, since I hold on tight to the transformational love of sweet Jesus, and I have a testimony that reflects His goodness, ima share it to anyone who will listen.